I was very intentional when naming my business Safe Driving Coach. I didn’t want to have the words school or instructor in the name. My philosophy of driving lessons is that this is entirely about coaching.
Instructors and teachers teach in a primarily one-way direction. Of course they will assess knowledge through discussion or tests, but those tools are meant to verify that the material got into the student’s head. The instructor defines the scope of what students will learn, and it’s up to the student to sign on to learn that topic or not.
Coaching is always a two-way process. Coaches typically start out having more technical knowledge about the topic, but it’s not a problem for the student to match or even surpass that knowledge. Their particular skill is in guiding the student’s application of that knowledge in pursuit of their personal goals. A coach provides support, structure, and resources for what the student wants to accomplish. Both members of the relationship have to sign on to participate.
As a driving coach, I do have to teach and instruct for some parts of the lesson. After all, teen drivers don’t come to me with a full head of driving knowledge. But once I teach the concept, I shift into coaching mode to help my student master it. That’s the difference. I’m invested in my students’ ability to both understand and apply the safe driving skills we’re working on together.
Why Teaching is Not Enough for Driving Lessons
I could easily spend six or ten lessons with a student, do nothing but teach, confirm that they can obey my instructions, and send them off to a driving test that they will most likely pass. But did I really coach that student to be a safe, experienced driver? Probably not.
Driving does not exist in a vacuum. We can all learn just enough skills to pass a state driver’s license exam. But the fact is that we have to do our actual driving out in the real world. And the real world is a whole lot more complex than the 30-minute road exam.
Let’s think about this in a traditional coaching environment like sports. If players are new to a game, the coach will start by teaching all the various skills, rules, and procedure of play. Once the players know how the game is played, the coach has to shift roles. If the coach stopped at the teaching part and continued to direct every player’s every move out on the field, sports would be ridiculous. Instead, the coach will:
Address strengths and weaknesses in each player and focus on areas of training.
Discover which players really want to advance and which ones aren’t serious.
Run drills to create muscle memory so the players can start thinking on their own.
Commit more development effort to players who want to reach the next level.
Being a driving coach is not all that different. I help them get all the skills, rules, and procedures under their belt so that they can think on their own. I evaluate their skills, encourage them, and guide them in reaching the next level.
If I want my students to be safe drivers - and that is my mission - then I need to coach them to independently apply their skills in a variety of situations. I need to make sure they can discuss what they are doing before and while they do it. I need to confirm that they understand how a mistake happened and what they will do differently in the future. I also need to ask them what they specifically worry about or want to improve.
Maintaining a Coaching Mindset in Driving Lessons
My coaches and I keep this coaching mindset in the forefront of our thoughts through every driving lesson. We remember that coaching is always a two-way relationship. If we’re the ones doing all the talking, we aren’t coaching. If we have to dictate every step to the teen driver once we have taught the basics of a skill, we aren’t coaching. If every question we ask can be answered with a yes or no answer, we aren’t coaching.
In our lessons, coaching means communicating. We’re there to sharpen the student’s skills, help them focus, and continually verify that they are thinking on their own through the whole process.
In action, this might involve:
Talking through a plan with the student before we pull out of a parking spot.
Asking questions about what is behind or in front of the car.
Holding them accountable to where they went wrong in a mistake.
Expanding on the answer to a question either with a follow up question or by taking the scenario to another step.
Asking them what kind of things they’d like to learn more about.
Applying their real world driving expectations to lessons.
With coaching, we are always looking for ways to make the skills most relatable to students. We will use analogies based on their interests and hobbies. I can’t tell you how many times framing the situation in sports terms will finally get a concept to click for a teen driver.
Coaches have to hold their students accountable, too. When students lie about practice, paying attention to the road, or that they know what to do in a situation, they are only hurting themselves. We coaches usually know when they are lying, and we need to call it out. I don’t do this in a condescending way. Instead, it’s a matter of pointing out that I can only do my job of coaching them if they are honest with me. And they can’t get more skilled at driving if they don’t let me do my job.
The best coaches always foster an environment of mutual respect. I respect the students for their effort and interest in being a safe driver, and they respect me as the professional who can support them in that goal.
Are You Parenting, Teaching, or Coaching Your Teen Driver?
As a parent, you have to put a lot more effort into structuring the coaching relationship. You and your teen have a lifetime of family dynamics already in play. Getting into the coaching mindset can be tough, but it’s definitely worth it. My advice is to communicate this new dynamic clearly at the outset. Start the coaching relationship off with that element of mutual respect by setting expectations about what the lessons should look like. If you and your teen can both accept the terms of the driving coach relationship, you will be setting up your lessons for success.
To get fully prepared for coaching your teen driver, check out my course, The Parent’s Survival Guide for New Teen Drivers. If you’d like to get your teen working on their driving skills with a professional coach, check out our Driving Lessons. We will work with your teen in a customized manner to help them become a lifelong safe driver.
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