When you’re in the middle of an important, skilled task, do you ever see or hear the person who taught you that skill in your head? Maybe it’s some household repair that your grandfather showed you, or that time your dad had you change a tire or even your favorite aunt’s special trick for baking the perfect chocolate chip cookie.
Recently, the parent of a past driving student shared that I was the voice in her daughter’s head during a driving incident. What an honor!
This story is a great reminder for all of us in coaching roles, that we need to teach our skills in memorable and applicable ways. Our work is valuable for a lifetime when we do our jobs well.
Handling a Difficult Driving Situation
A parent recently signed her son up for driving lessons, and I recognized that I had also been her daughter’s driving coach several years ago. I remembered that the student was a Taylor Swift fan. We talk about all kinds of things in the car because safe drivers can carry on a conversation while paying attention to the road.
This mom told me that her daughter loved our driving lessons, which was one reason that she was returning to me with her son. But then I found out the really big reason this family choose Safe Driving Coach for lessons. My former student had gotten into a car crash not too long ago.
She explained to her mom later that as soon as she realized what was about to happen, she heard my voice in her head and did all the things she could do to avoid or mitigate the crash. The other driver apparently lost control of their car while turning a corner. My student recognized what was happening quickly and reacted defensively. Now, the crash did still occur. But the damage was minimized because this young driver knew exactly what to do in the moment.
This is the power of effective coaching!
Honestly, I can’t take credit for how my former student handled herself in that crash. She was a responsible driver who applied her skills. She owns all the credit for the best possible outcome in a bad situation.
What I am proud of is the confirmation that our safe driving coaching methods are effective in the real world.
Driving Lessons Account for Reality
Driving lessons, whether they are coming from one of our coaches or with you as the parent, need to account for a lot of realistic situations. This means that we practice driving on the highway, in the rain and snow, long distances, during rush hour, and while the sun is pointing directly into the windshield. We don’t get into real crashes during lessons, of course, but we do practice certain skills that help a driver be prepared for potential or actual crashes. We ask what-if questions and talk through the next steps. We go to parking lots and practice those handling skills. We repeat the things that students need to remember so that they can calmly manage their thoughts and actions on the road.
I wish more than anything that not a single one of my students will ever be in a crash. Statistically speaking, that’s impossible. So I do the next best thing and make sure that my students know exactly what to do when things on the road are not going well. Parents who are coaching their teen drivers need to do the same.
Effective coaching is not just about the specific skill you’re teaching at that moment. My student knew what to do in that crash, but it’s not as if her brain suddenly woke up when things got hairy. She was prepared to stay calm and apply cognitive skills in a tense moment. That means she is doing things like that on a regular basis. This young woman understands the value of reacting or responding thoughtfully in her everyday experiences. She probably gained this valuable life skill from many influences, not just driving lessons. But the takeaway is that teens are learning how to navigate life from a variety of sources. Parents should be paying attention to the quality of those sources as much as possible.
This is easily related to playing a sport or an instrument. Kids and teens learn specific skills for what they are doing, but they are more importantly learning life skills. They learn to practice, they learn to fail, they learn to challenge themselves, they learn that they are responsible to other people, and they learn what to do when things are going sideways. Someone has to teach and coach them through those things, too. And they will recall the teachers and coaches of those skills in their minds for years to come.
Hearing the Right Voice in Your Head
Sadly, we all probably have one or two negative voices in our heads. People aren’t perfect, and not everyone is our cheerleader. You may not be able to protect your teen from every bad voice that implants in their head. But you can definitely work towards a great ratio of strong, supportive voices that help them through whatever life throws their way.
When you start coaching your teen as a driver, make sure your own voice is one that they will trust for a lifetime of safe driving. Take advantage of The Parent’s Survival Guide for New Teen Drivers to learn how to make your driving lessons effective and memorable. To help your teen develop skills that prepare them for every sort of driving scenario, consider professional Driving Lessons with one of our coaches. We are honored to be one more voice of positive influence in our students’ life experiences.
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