The parents I talk to on a daily basis are genuinely invested in their kids’ life experiences. They sacrifice to give their kids opportunities in sports, music, theater, and other interests. The return on investment they hope to see is that their kids develop skills, character traits, and relationships that will benefit them long term.
Many parents sign up their teens for driving lessons with the same mindset. Hoping to see some positive improvements in their driving skills, they sign up with a professional driving instructor to supplement the lessons they are giving their children.
But learning how to drive isn’t the same as learning piano or lacrosse. It’s not an extracurricular activity that teens do for enjoyment, to make friends, to build character, or to bolster their college applications. Becoming a safe driver is a matter of life and death. The risks of failing to learn safe, defensive driving skills far outweigh those when a teen doesn’t become a star soccer player.
Parents should approach driving lessons with the serious intention that safe driving skills become second-nature habits that far outlast the teen years. Professional driving lessons serve to ensure that teens will learn vital safe driving skills, show progress during practice sessions at home, and broaden the teen’s experience with non-parent mentors. Parents can maximize their teen’s safe driving success by contributing their part to all three of these aspects of lessons.
Ask Specifics About Driving Lessons
Teenagers are very good at being conversation minimalists when their parents try to engage. The trick here is to frame questions in a way that forces multiple word answers.
Instead of asking how the lesson went, try asking for specific information and building follow up questions from there:
What new skill did you work on today?
Did you know how to do that before the lesson, or did it surprise you?
Did it take a few tries to get the hang of it, or was it more intuitive?
Can you think of somewhere in town where that will apply when you’re driving?
What did you think was most challenging about the lesson today?
Is there anything you want to work on when we practice tomorrow?
What’s one thing your coach said you did really well?
Some of the questions above build off of the previous one, and some hop around to different aspects of the lesson. Keeping it conversational and looking for highlights to praise are both great ways to keep a teenager’s attention. But it’s also important to know when to back off. Whether they are simply done talking, or they had more frustrations than wins that day, sometimes they need to move on.
These conversations are an ongoing process designed to enhance learning. Some questions help the teen recall the skills they worked on. Other questions give them an opening to ask for more help or practice. Still others are completely about encouragement. It’s all a balancing act for parents, but it will get easier to navigate as the teen driver gains more confidence and experience.
Parent Practice Time Behind the Wheel is Important
Professional driving lessons are a game changer in preparing teens to take their license exam. But they do not cover the full 65 hours of driving practice that Pennsylvania teens need to accumulate before they take their test.
Parents are essential in the driving lesson experience. I encourage all parent driving coaches to check out my Parent’s Survival Guide for New Teen Drivers to prepare for supporting their teens behind the wheel.
When parents combine their own lessons with professional lessons, and they build on the same skills, they will help their teens fully absorb the information. This is one of the reasons asking good questions is so important. When parents hear teens describe what they’re learning - in their own words - they can customize the next practice session around applying the same principles.
Even though it’s important to get input and feedback from teen drivers during practice, don’t allow them to dictate the lesson. Parents are in charge and need to maintain authority during the lesson. We’ve all heard the expression, “choose your battles.” Driving is a battle worth choosing.
Driving is a serious task, and teens need to know that there is no wiggle room on that. Set clear boundaries and rules at the outset of driving lessons, and re-affirm them regularly. When it’s not a good session in terms of following instructions or being respectful, end the driving time early and try again another day.
Partner with Your Professional Driving Coach
My coaches and I truly enjoy interacting with teens and their parents. We see ourselves in a support role to parents as we help their teens master safe driving skills. In order for us to do the best job for clients, we need to be informed at the outset of our relationship.
We ask parents to be upfront about anything that might impact their child’s driving lessons. This includes learning challenges, special needs, medications, and issues with fear or anxiety. Sometimes, for various reasons, parents are not forthcoming with this information. The result is that we have initial lesson challenges that prevent the student from feeling successful.
Driving lessons are about learning, so we need to know about anything that will affect the learning process. We have many tools and strategies that we can adapt to each student’s specific needs. When we know ahead of time that a student should be supported in a certain way, we can do that from the very first minute of the very first lesson. Our goal is for every student to become a safe and experienced driver with skills that they will apply for a lifetime. When we teach those skills in the student’s preferred learning style from the outset, amazing things happen!
Success with Safe Driving Skills
The most important thing parents should keep in mind when they first start planning to teach their teen to drive is that it takes time. This is not an immediate, once and done skill. Just like all of the other life experiences they support for their child, driving is an investment of time and effort. Everyone has to start at the beginning and build from there. Becoming a safe driver, which is the ultimate return on investment, takes patience, perseverance, and practice.
If you haven’t yet, go ahead and get my Parent’s Survval Guide for New Teen Drivers. If you want to enhance your teen’s safe driving skills, contact us for Professional Driving Lessons. Our coaches are looking forward to working with you and your teen driver to maximize their safe driving skills.
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